Thursday, February 28, 2008

Kirk Hammett: Camwhore

Ok, does anybody know what the hell happened to Kirk Hammett?  For Gods sake, is he going through a mid-life crisis or something?  When people were bashing him for getting all self-righteous and not putting any guitar solos on St. Anger, I stood by him.  I said, "every artist is allowed to have their shitty album", but now I'm saying, "can you even play Master of Puppets anymore you silly fuck?"  I've changed my tune because what he has done is so unforgivable, I don't even think the gates of Hell would open up for him anymore.
When most people think Heavy Metal, they think Metallica; a band of drunken fuck-uglies that time and time again have blown the roof off the joint with their baby-making rhythm and face-melting guitar solos.  They showed the world that you could be as awkward and as ugly as you wanted to be and still be a rock star.  They showed the world that you didn't have to wear makeup and have unnaturally giant poofy hair to blow minds and melt faces.  They showed the world that Metal was about being ugly and being drunk.  Apparently, that is not the case anymore.
Recently, Kirk Hammett dropped Messa as his guitar amplifier of choice and decided to switch his endorsement to Randall.  Randall gave Hammett his own signature amplifier.  Ok, fine, cool, whatever; but it's not ok, fine, cool, or whatever.  The following is a video that was release to endorse Kirk Hammett's signature Randall amplifier:

What the fuck is that?  Is he wearing makeup, saying practiced lines off a script... did i see a photo shoot?  Since when has a photo shoot been fucking Metal?  Photo shoots aren't fucking Metal, photo shoots make you a camwhore.  And just listen to how his voice sounds as he's describing *his very own* signature amplifier.  He either needed to practice his script a bit more or maybe, oh, i don't know, drink some fucking alcohol!  To quote my good friend "Pagan Jack", "the great metal guitarists either worship Satan, alcohol, or Satan and alcohol".  Hammett doesn't worship Satan and he gave up on alcohol a few years back... oh wait, was that right before St. Anger?  I just want to give all the members of Metallica a bunch of whiskey, slap them up side the head and say "hey you fuckers, Metal isn't about getting along, or looking pretty... drink up and stop sucking"!  

I don't know... I guess thats just one mans opinion.

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